Seriously man, fuck Microsoft, fuck Windows 10, and fuck you. No actually you are ok, as long as you don’t work for Microsoft or are some sort of freak MS enthusiast, but what kind of shithole stasi big brother state do we live in when your software vendor tells you what applications you can and can’t install on the operating system you purchased for your own PC? I mean I know they’ve been doing that shit for a long time, but tonight the stars revolt (seemingly misplaced Powerman 5000 reference).
I just had the joy of wasting an hour of my life getting the damn Cisco VPN client to work. When Windows 8 came out, there were a few workarounds to have to do, but now MS has stepped up their game of being total assclowns and won’t let you even run the installer. In your delight, you will receive the pleasantly authoritarian popup box that says, “This app can’t be run on this PC“. Fan-fucking-tastic.
Anyways, let’s get down to brass tacks here, you’re probably here because you want to shove an icepick straight up Bill Gate’s dickhole. I concur, that makes total sense to me. Personally I don’t want to eat pharmacological GMO crops with vaccines built into them and I certainly don’t want mandatory enforced vaccinations via the unauthorized release of GMO mosquitos into the public. Either that, or you or a colleague actually needs to get some work done while out of the office. Well here’s what you need to do…
- First of all, you will need to uninstall any old remnants of the VPN client if you upgraded your OS to Windows 10 or something weird (idk just covering all bases).
- Go to the Citrix website and download and run winfix.exe and reboot.
- Update the Citrix DNE for your version of Windows – x86 or x64. If you aren’t familiar with the process of updating the Citrix Deterministic Network Enhancer program, see one of my old posts here.
- Download the Cisco VPN Client from somewhere, I usually get it here.
- Run the vpnclient-win(x64)-msi-5.0.07.0440-k9.exe but DO NOT HIT UNZIP YET!!
- In the Unzip to folder: box, for sake of ease, add ciscovpnclient to the end of the line. It should look something like:
C:\Users\billybob\AppData\Local\Temp\ciscovpnclient
- Uncheck the box “When done unzipping open: .\vpnclient_setup.exe”.
- Now hit Unzip.
- Navigate here, run the msi installer package, and follow the normal program process to install the program.
%TEMP%\ciscovpnclient\vpnclient_setup.msi
- Last but not least, to correct the Cisco “442 – Failed to enable Virtual Adapter” message that cropped up when Windows 8 was first released (super weird that this issue has come back, I thought version 440 fixed this registry key), follow the steps outlined here or go to step 11.
- Open up the registry editor and navigate to the following key:
HKLM\SYSTEM\CurrentControlSet\Services\CVirtA
- Edit the “DisplayName” registry key and remove “@oemX.inf,%CVirtA_Desc%;” from the beginning of the value. You’re ending value should just read “Cisco Systems VPN Adapter for 64-bit Windows“.
- Give MS the finger.